When you have a parent that has moved into a care facility, you will likely realize that there are some responsibilities as a caretaker you no longer have to worry about. The care facility will likely be handling things like daily hygiene and prescription distribution which can be taxing on you, the caregiver. However, that doesn’t mean that the caregiver responsibilities have ended but rather changed (depending on the level of care at the facility).
There can be weekly things you might need to help with regarding errands for your elderly parent. Hair appointments, grocery pick up for snacks, and taking your parent to the doctor will likely all still remain as possible caregiver responsibilities. What can become tough is trying to figure out a way to distribute and handle these responsibilities between siblings.
It is normal for feelings of resentment between the responsible caregivers to surface. One might feel that they are doing twice the work and effort as the other. Another sibling might feel as though their professional life isn’t being respected by the other sibling when trying to figure out caregiver responsibilities.
First, it should be stated that these types of conversations and feelings are normal. We see them regularly when helping families locate the proper care facility in the DFW area. There are a few things that can be done to help lessen the probability of conflict and feelings of resentment that you can take.
Tip #1: Create A Shared Schedule Now (Not Later)
Creating a shared schedule that both you and your siblings have access to will help shed light on the daily/weekly responsibilities required. We have seen some siblings just not actually know how much another sibling is doing a regular basis because they don’t physically see it. Creating a shared calendar will help them understand what other siblings are doing.
Tip #2: When New Caregiver Responsibilities Arise, Assign Them Sooner Rather Than Later
If your loved one suffered a fall and is now having to go to physical therapy four times a week, you need to figure out how it will be handled by you and your siblings now. Waiting until later can cause feelings of resentment if one sibling is handling most of the transportation on these visits.
Tip #3: Remember What Is At The Core Of These Conversations – Your Loved One
As a caregiver to an aging loved one, you will encounter new challenges and stresses that can be difficult for you and your siblings. Deciding on who handles what caregiver responsibilities can be a big pain point for some families. It might require you all at some point to sit down and just remember that you are ultimately trying to care for your aging parent. It can offer a reset to disagreements and bring all siblings back to the ultimate goal – proper care for their parent.
It may feel easier at times to sweep feelings of resentment under the rug during these difficult times. But ultimately, it will be easier for the whole family to plan ahead and avoid those feelings of resentment later if you follow these tips.
