Tips for Dealing with Aging Parents that Won’t Listen

It’s common that parents and their adult children may have different perspectives on their needs as they age. It can be difficult to support someone who may feel as though they are fine on their own.

• Identify your parents’ goals by including them in a planning conversation. Have they thought about what the future may look like? Ask them what may be a sign that they need help from their perspective This can give you something tangible to point to later on.
• Start small. Big changes don’t happen overnight. Prioritize your biggest concerns and work to address them one at a time. Not preparing meals, try implementing Meals on Wheels? Risk of falling? Try a fall detection device.
• Offer options. Allow your loved ones to feel involved in their care planning by offering options that you are comfortable with.
• Talk with your parent’s doctor. Express your concerns to your parent’s doctor. Even if they are not able to share information with you due to privacy, they can take your concerns into consideration. Sometimes, people are more receptive to outside parties such as their physicians, rather than their adult children. If your loved one is experiencing changes in their cognitive abilities, they may be able to guide you as this will alter your approach when addressing the need for support.
• Spend quality time with your parents. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the logistics of caregiving–meals, cleaning, appointments, etc. Sometimes, slowing down and bonding over shared activities can have a positive impact in increasing your reach.

Lastly, be mindful of the change in relationship dynamic. This is going to be a new role for both you and your loved one, have patience that it may take time to navigate this change for everyone involved.