What To Do About Disputes In My Family Occurring Over My Elderly Parents Care?

Your sister thinks your mom should go to assisted living and your brother thinks she’s fine at home. It’s common for family members to have different opinions on the best care plan for your parents. These decisions are life changing and emotional.

Ensure all legal and financial documentation are up to date. Make sure that your parent has designated a medical power of attorney and durable power of attorney, and that you understand how they want their decisions to be made.

Be transparent with information. It’s better to over-communicate, than to allow someone to find out important information later on. Encourage your family to attend appointments, when appropriate and share information later on.

Have a family meeting. Sit down all together to identify goals with your family, even if those goals may differ. Additionally, make sure everyone has a complete understanding of your parent’s diagnoses and what aging may look like for them.

Make a list of all tasks that need to be regularly completed. Have each person choose what tasks they feel comfortable with to complete all tasks. When necessary, consider hiring a mediator or Aging Life Care Manager to help facilitate these conversations.

Keep in mind that your family members may have had different relationships with your parents than you; for better or worse. These longstanding dynamics can come into play when providing care and making plans for the future.

Generally speaking, keep in mind that all parties want what’s best for your parents. Each family member may have their own idea of what that looks like, but remembering common ground can keep the focus on your parent’s care.